You know how the Chinese women bind their feet...

To restrict growth. Can you do that with a baby? I mean if I swaddled Olivia tightly every day and night would she stay this small forever? I'm not happy about her getting bigger but I decided that she is not allowed to get any bigger than she is now! I found these pics of her on my mom's computer...she's almost three months old in these pics...not like now... 5 months and some change!

Here she is on Mother's Day with GG Charlene

Sitting in Grandpa Larsen's chair



Being silly

Being cute

Laying in my childhood baby doll cradle. It's really small, she

barely fit!

Motherhood has been an adjustment. I mean I am by no means a morning person and I do enjoy time to myself and that has all had to change with miss baby around. It's okay though. She is often naughty and has some sleep issues but I love my little Munchy and can't imagine my life without her!

Here are some more recent pics of baby Livvy Do!

Like Mother like Daughter

It's seems missy girl shares a similar celebrity crush...well kinda.

We were driving back from taking Auntie Ash to work and in true Olivia fashion noticing she was alone in the back seat she began to cry and fuss.

"Shhhhh, No, No Baby....You're okay....I'm right here it's okay"

Well it didn't work of course and more crying happens.

I look for something that might calm her and end up putting in the Walk The Line Soundtrack.

You know Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash...singing all the Johnny Cash hits!

She hushed and cooed and then fell sweetly to sleep while Johnny nay Joaquin crooned away.

With his voice "steady as a train, sharp like a razor".

I know Baby, I know... I love him too!

Although recently we have found him looking more and more like this...and sounding crazy!

It's all a blur

My sight that is. You see as I put my contacts on this afternoon, since the baby the glasses seem to stay on longer and longer, I notice that they are providing me with something far from perfect vision. It probably doesn't help that I fall asleep with them on at least 2 or three times a week. It probably makes matters even worse that they are the two week disposables and I can't even tell you how long I have been wearing them.

At least a year, if not longer. It has been almost 2 years since I had an eye exam so in order to obtain new ones I would need a new exam and prescription and blah, blah, blah.

I hate the eye doctor...I hate most doctors. Except foot doctors :). And after an unsightly wart was removed from my foot by Doctor Dad Larsen I can't even say I trust foot doctors much more. Long story short; I was 13 and Dad had to give me a shot to numb my foot before slicing the wart. "will the shot hurt I asked", "nah", says dad. Well as you can probably guess that was a BIG FAT LIE! I am not a big fan of pain and before all this baby and birth stuff I think that shot in the arch of my foot was the worst pain I had experienced.

Anyways I guess the eye doctor isn't associated with much pain. I hate the puff of air in the eye test and dilation.

I think I might just have to break down and see the eye doctor....this blurry hazey film that is permanently coating my lenses probably is only going to get worse!

Why couldn't dad be an eye doctor? Or better yet a plastic surgeon!!!!

The heck with free wart removals I could do with some free liposuction!

Look at some cute pics I found at Mitch's fam's computer the other day.

Warning to mother dearest...there are some with what you call my "dike" haircut. You know next to "cholo" (the word you use to describe babies with pierced ears as well as chuck taylor shoes)..."dike" is another term you seem to through around quite loosely which I find equally annoying. You know you work for the ballet and you know your fair share of homosexual men, who you love. You would never say "fag" so what's with the "dike"? Granted I find homosexual men cute and charming and butchy lesbians don't seem as appealing, but I don't really know any? At any rate apparently mother thinks I look like a "dike" with short hair. I rather liked it.




These next ones were about two weeks before I got pregnant with Olivia....Weird!

I'm slipping, tumbling, falling into

Darkness, madness, mental problems-ness!

So I read various studies that say "sleep issues in young babies is the leading cause of maternal depression".

Need I elaborate?

I feel alone in any efforts to make her sleep problems a priority.

Nobody else seems to care or see it as a problem.

Nobody else seems worried or stressed.

Nobody else seems to notice that I am disappearing...lost...confused...can't focus, can't think.

Can only cry. From physical and even more so...mental exhaustion.

Can't understand why she never sleeps and when she does why it's usually in someone else's arms.

I think she hates me.

I feel like everyone hates me.

Then again my period is not far from the horizon so I am sure it isn't helping things.

Better late than never...right?

Well they say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions....Well I intended to be one of those proud parents and send out birth announcements....

I had every intention of the world of friends and family "ohhhhing an awwwing" over the beautiful offspring I produced....

I must say she is very very "awe and ohhhh" inspiring.

Anyways world I am here and now announcing the birth of my baby girl.

PROUD PARENTS MITCHELL AND EMILY ARE VERY PLEASED TO INTRODUCE

OLIVIA MARIE BENVENISTE
MARCH 9, 2009
9:25 PM
7 POUNDS, 8 OUNCES
19 INCHES LONG



Weird....she really doesn't look anything like this anymore! It's crazy how fast they change. How often they change!

Miss CO-Dependant

So my dear sweet girl is just that...

Dear and Sweet unless it's naptime or bedtime. OMG!!!! She has been in fine form the past couple of nights and days.

She is all smiles and coos and laughs until she reaches that magical...."over-tired" state and then she won't be happy and won't go to sleep and I am at my wits end!

Try to get her to sleep during that magical window of time when she goes from awake and alert to starting to tire out and then the sleeping should come swift, calm and tears-free....

Theoretically....supposedly....alledgedly.

The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" relates it to surfing....I liked this analogy even if I have not f0und it to be true...well maybe "not true" isn't the right phrase...it's more like it's impossible to achieve.

I don't remember how it goes exactly but it something like this; "think of your child's ability to sleep as a surfer riding a wave. You want to catch that wave right where it starts to achieve the longest and smoothest ride. If you grab that wave even a moment too late the ride gets choppy and rough and it becomes more likely that you'll fall off and have a very short ride".

As the last entry discussed I was going to try the whole crying it out thing...

"try" being the operative word.

Wait....Wait.... She is asleep

I just checked her and after 10 minutes of crying I guess she gave into the idea that "Mommy is the boss".

Okay here is what I found upon checking the suddenly quiet room.

Isn't that exactly why they say not to use bumpers? Now her face is not buried in the bumper and she's breathing but it's about that arm...it doesn't look comfortable or safe and now I am wondering if I should risk her waking up to move her safely away from the bumper.

Urghhhh I am too worried about her breaking her arm or suffocating I better move her...hold on and enjoy these new Livia pics while you wait....

Here she is puking on Ashley after we decorated her with gemstone stickers

Here she is hanging in her high chair

Bathy time

Yay! Success! Few moments as a mother thus far have felt as triumphant as this! Getting her to fall asleep on her own and moving her without waking her up!

We'll see how long this lasts, she usually only falls asleep for the most 20 minutes if she cries herself to sleep.

Anyways I am exhausted. Last night she and Mitch both went to sleep at 7:30 pm. She then woke up at 9 pm and then again at 11 pm and again at 1:30 am and again and 3:50 am. I could not sleep at all this whole time. Couldn't turn my mind off and so every time she woke up...I nursed her back to sleep. But at 3:50 I was getting annoyed. She has been sleeping through the night more or less since she was 2 months old, what was this?

"Mitch get up" I yelled

To which he replied angrily having been woken up with some dumb comment about how I am a lazy mom or how I don't like having a baby very much....Nice Mitch, Nice.

Anyways I told him that he was in charge of her now, I was exhausted and took care of her the three other times she woke up. It was the weekend, he had already slept like 7 hours....since I am SOOOOOO LAZY I guess he was gonna have to come to the rescue.

I should have known that unless she was asleep, even if I wasn't the one walking her around...I wasn't going to be able to sleep. After an hour he finally suggested that I nurse her, I was irritated enough to do so (end the madness) and then when I went to lay her down....crying again! I made her a bottle and gave her and the bottle to Daddy and I said I am done....you're gonna have to do it.

I guess he finally got her to sleep at about 7:00 am and then I finally fell asleep, he went back to sleep and I was thinking she'd at least sleep in...right?

Nope awake at 9:30!

I am beyond frustrated that now she not only will not nap but is waking during the night again. Since Mitch and I live with his family and we share a room with the baby, it makes the crying it out thing during the night pretty impossible.

Ohhhhh this child needs to learn to sleep and needs to learn to self-soothe! I can't take much more!