Meow....to all the haters out there...

(Ashley painted me this cat head, she knows I love kittys)

And you know who you are!

Cat haters that is...

This morning as it was rainy and blustery outside my kitty Shiloh tried his best to look pathetic by the back door. I was feeding Olivia breakfast and not only was she refusing any and all the foods I tried this morning she was also very distracted by Shiloh's presence at the door. Her highchair is in perfect range to ignore me and stare out the sliding glass door and into the backyard and usually Shiloh. She is very intrigued by cats. She since the first day home from the hospital was inundated with dogs, two in particular. Zoe and Bogie. She lived the first 7 months of her life with those dogs and all their daily antics and shenanigans. She is usually pretty unfazed by the dogs and they seem to be rather uninterested with her unless she is eating. Cause let's face it babies drop alot of food, and those dogs are master opportunists. You see I am an animal lover and I do love dogs and "those" dogs, but I realized something while living with the little beasts....I am definitely more of a cat person.

Growing up I always wanted a puppy, a dog...what did I get? A cat. Holly was her name and she was not too pleasant of a creature. She was rather unfriendly and sassy and hated any and all strangers. But we loved her despite all her mental problems. Which was probably our own faults, my little sister especially. We teased and tormented that cat to no end! Some cats you can do this to, and some you can't....Holly didn't take it lightly. Anyone who met her was met with a hiss and snarl, sometimes a growl and definitely a declawed swat if they got too close...like I said she had issues. So it is not unheard of for people to still ask , "do your parents still have that evil demon-like cat". Sadly Holly died about 3 years ago...she got nicer in her old age and failing health...it was sad when she finally had to be put down...she was probably about 15 years old? Since getting Holly for Christmas when I was in sixth grade, I have had 4 cats. Elvis, Bailey, Murphy and the current one Shiloh.

Elvis was a cat I got with the old boyfriend and he went with him post break-up. Bailey was a big boy lover I got when I moved out when I was 21. Murphy I got to keep Bailey company...Bailey hated him, I tried. And baby Shi....I got him to heal my heart after Bailey died. Bailey came with me after moving back home back in like 2005, Murphy I gave away...he was a freak anyway. Bailey got hit by a car...he was such a lover cat. He loved anyone and everyone. Shiloh was a rescued feral kitten I got from some crazy cat lady at work. He was very young and immediately thought I was his mother. HE LOVED ME AND ONLY HAD EYES FOR ME.

And at the time I had a mad hankering for a baby...so Shiloh fulfilled all my mothering needs for about 3 years. I treated that cat like a child, he was spoiled beyond belief. He was a pleasant cat but only really lovey with me...he adored me, worshipped the ground I walked on...the feeling was mutual. He had organic cat food, wet food once a day, took cat vitamins, had his litter changed daily and had an array of about 25 collars. When I moved to Santa Barbara baby Shiloh came along too. Mitch and Shiloh did not like one another. Mitch didn't appreciate Shiloh being possessive of me and Shiloh didn't like another man in my life. I still spoiled him and loved him. When I was first pregnant Shiloh kept me calm. He would snuggle up against my belly, like he knew...I was scared to be pregnant...But Shiloh's warm furriness against me made me feel like it would all work out somehow. He truly is the sweetest animal on earth.

About 5 months into the pregnancy it was decided that we would move back to Roseville, in with Mitch's family. The last month we were in Santa Barbara Shiloh had already moved back up home with my parents. That was extremely hard for me. I remember the last visit bringing Shiloh up...the month before we were to move back permanently. My parents agreed to let him stay with them until we could get our own place, but he would be an outdoor cat only...he could come in the garage at night. It was raining the day I said goodbye. I remember sitting on the bench in the rain in my parents backyard crying. Sobbing while my nervous and confused cat nestled against my cheek. I had to leave him and I knew he didn't understand. The last month in Santa Barbara without him was so hard. I depended on being able to hold him when I felt scared and he wasn't there. The baby had begun to move very regularly at that point. I loved her but I didn't realize at the time that Shiloh would never be my baby in the same way again...this little bump and nudge inside me was my new baby. It sounds stupid but I never knew she would replace him by leaps and bounds.

We came home and lived with Mitch's family. I was getting to the uncomfortable stage at that point and I didn't visit Shiloh nearly as often as I should have. At the time Mitch's sister Allison and her cat LuLu/Noons lived with them as well.

(this is LuLu/Noonie-Noons)

That cat is so sweet and cute, when I missed my cat I would often go out into the garage and spent a good 45 minutes playing and cuddling Noons. When I did visit Shiloh at my parents he sort of snubbed me, preferring my parents to me. I felt so guilty that I had left him, but it was annoying that he seemed dis-interested in me.

Then something life changing happened. I became a mother.

Never in my life I had felt that rush of love as I did the moment she was placed on my chest; warm, wet and whimpering. Shiloh who? Olivia made me a mother....I'd like to think Shiloh prepared me.

Anyways back to the start of the story. It was raining and cold outside and Shiloh is not allowed indoors. He looked up at me from where I was trying to feed Olivia her breakfast. Something came rushing back to me although it was fleeting...I loved this cat, I love this cat...I let him in. He ran out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the garage (where he sleeps and spends his nights). I ran after him and opened the door to the garage, still cold but at least not wet. He went barrelling out towards his food. I realized that so much has changed in a year. My cat became an actual cat and my child is my baby. The world makes sense...but all the same I opened the door to the garage and laid a blanket down in Shiloh's bed.

And thanks to Holly, Elvis, Bailey, Murphy and especially Shiloh....I will always have an unnatural love of cats

Call me what you will...