Another post about my hair...

Those like 5 of you who actually read my blog probably only log on to see pictures of Olivia. I mean I don't kid myself, I know that she is the star of this website. I know I mostly look at other people's blogs to look at pictures of their kids. But that being said I also use the "blog" to ramble and entertain the thought that someone might actually enjoy my "clever" repartee. It's an outlet, like a journal. It seems journaling feels more gratifying at times knowing that somebody might read it. But like the title implies this post is about me. More specifically about my hair and my long suffering quest to grow it out. So I don't know how entertaining it will be...I mean how entertaining can hair be? Which got me thinking about why I want long hair anyway.

When I graduated from High School I had really long hair. It was past my bra line and I had dreams of growing it down my butt...it didn't happen. I cut it to my shoulders right before I went away to college and from there ended up with a really short a-line bob. This was courtesy of watching "With Honors" way too many times and becoming obsessed with not only Brendan Fraiser but also with the "Courtney Blumenthal" character and her sassy shorter in the back and longer in the front do'.

This was the look for me, this was the new college me! Having never had anything but blonde hair my entire life what possessed me with the nerve to dye it practically black I still can't imagine. I really don't remember thinking twice about it...just did it and then shocked my whole family when I showed up at Easter looking nothing like the blonde Emily they all knew. My sister in law actually saw me from afar and was confused as to who this girl with her family was.

And so it began....my love of coloring my hair. No don't get confused I had dyed it many times prior to this but it was always just a WAY lighter blonde than I was naturally blessed with, never anything but blonde. I kept it dark the rest of the time I was at college that year and then when I came home for summer my high school long distance boyfriend let me know that he preferred it not only longer but also blonde. What did I do? Bleached it back blonde and cut it short pixie style. Ehhhh can't give them all exactly what they want, he can have it blonde but it's gonna be short. Also bleaching out black hair is not a kind process and well cutting most of it off seemed the only way to not have that frazzled fried look.

The next ten years I have bounced between blonde, red and brown. However the length of my hair never really reached much longer that my jawline. Then I got pregnant and my hair grew like a weed. It was a novelty to have my hair grow so fast. My hair went from a chin length bob to past my shoulders in 9 months! It was long! Then after Olivia I got in that funk and needed a change....I cut off a significant amount. Then I dyed it dark. Then I decided I wanted it long again...and not just as long as it was before but really long. Here is my theory as to why I want it long, really long. My pregnancy with Olivia was a huge surprise and I spent the better part of that pregnancy terrified of where my life was headed and just what kind of stability I would find in my life with my new baby. A fear I still struggle with even though she is now a year old...but that is another blog altogether.

Anyways I didn't feel prepared or at peace with what was happening with my life or my body when I was pregnant with Olivia. Every girl, at least every girl I knew growing up, imagines what it would be like to be pregnant. You see those pregnant woman at the store or out and about and you think "oh one day when I am pregnant I am going to be one of these cute woman, with a cute belly and beautiful hair and cute little pregnant clothes". These thoughts are very romantic notions because you find once you actually are pregnant....you don't really feel all that cute or attractive most of the time. Add to that the fact that I was not mentally prepared to be pregnant and well that makes the precarious state of your pregnant body all the harder to accept. So here is why I want long hair...stupid as it sounds. I plan on next time around, if there is a next time, that I will be one of those beautiful pregnant women. I will have the long silky locks that graze my baby bump....again some stupid romantic hippy-like mother earth type notion of what pregnancy should be...but hey this is my dumb notion, I'm sure you have your own. Think Nicole Richie...

Only I will never have a face or arms that thin...especially while pregnant....again another blog another day! So one day when I am planning on it and my hair is long I will get to be pregnant again. And for those of you who remember how much complaining I did while pregnant the first time...this next time will be different. Whenever that next time will be....

Until then I will be growing my hair out and looking like this...

Drew is my hair style icon BTW....only my hair will be brown.....sigh....