Today my baby is 8 months old. I cannot believe she is 8 months old! I remember when she was three months old and it all of a sudden dawned on me that this getting older thing was not to slow down. It hasn't, it seems to speed up with each day, week, month...with each new skill she did not have previously. Then a few days ago physical evidence of her growth showed up. In a small white swollen and inflamed bump on her little bottom gum. What!!!!!! Okay let's rewind a little...
At Olivia's 2 month check-up the doctor looked in her mouth and said "Oh it looks like she is starting to teethe". To which I felt shock that my 2 month baby was about to get teeth. Now either they teethe a really long time or she was wrong or maybe a little bit of both. So I waited and checked and any unexplainable fussiness was blamed on the "teething". Nothing. Month after month I waited and nothing happened. Then when she was about 6 months old I went and visited my brother's family in Idaho for a week. Olivia woke up one morning with a runny nose and seemed like she might have a bit of a cold. I freaked out of course...it must be the swine flu! To which my sis in law Rochelle said, "no she is probably just teething, that tooth should break through anytime, my kids were about 6 months when they got their first tooth". Still nothing came of this.
I started to wonder if she'd ever get teeth. Ashley said "maybe she doesn't have any teeth, wouldn't that be funny if she never got any teeth". No that would not be funny to be toothless for life! Believe me I worked at Walmart and I am familiar with toothless grins...nothing funny about them! Well they are funny looking but not something I would want for my baby! Then a few days ago my mom mentioned that it was weird she still had not gotten any teeth. Then Thursday Olivia started to get really sensitive. Just crying very easily and spent the night waking up fussy all night and refusing to nurse. That morning my mom came out before leaving for work and said "so she woke up alot last night, I heard her". I know she was annoying the crap out of me! I looked over as she was yelling about something and noticed a flash of white in her mouth. Upon closer but nowhere near thorough inspection (she won't let you anywhere near the new addition to her mouth) there is was a little bud. Not broken through but just waiting.
No! No! No! I don't want her to get teeth, I don't want her to grow up. Especially since this means ultimately the nursing situation will change. Honestly it has changed already, she doesn't nurse as often and unless she is in a darkened room or really sleepy it's impossible to get her to nurse. I too have lost the patience to want to get her going with the whole thing. Once she starts to get fidgety I get annoyed and don't want to fight with her...I give her a bottle. But with the nursings dwindling to 2-3 times a day I feel myself freaking out about it.
You see in a lot of ways Miss Olivia is pretty independently minded. She IS a pretty needy baby but she IS NOT a real snugly baby. So the nursing was my time to be able to hold her close, snuggle her up and feel her little warm body against me, feel her chubby little hand rest on my chest or grip my hand. She lets me snuggle her and lays still and it just relaxes. Nobody else can nurse her, everyone else can do anything else but this was something that I feel connected me to her in a way no one else could connect with her. When you are pregnant that baby belongs to only you and you do everything for the baby, no one else can help because she lives inside of you. I guess nursing is the last thing I have to prove that she is all mine. I don't know if that makes sense.
I for the most part have really really enjoyed nursing...the fact that she is eight months old and the twelve month mark is rapidly approaching is so sad because nursing typically stops at a year old, I plan to stop at a year. But it seems she needs to nurse less and less and I would imagine the teeth with be something that will make nursing less enjoyable for me, I don't want her to bite me...so things are changing in the nursing situation and it makes me sad :( Sometimes I feel like I am done with nursing...after frustration with her distractability and wiggling...but then when the idea of not having it anymore literally brings me to tears.
Oh baby girl please stop getting so big, I hate it!
Nursing really is amazing. It is always a bitter sweet ending. It's really good that her teeth came in later. At least that is what a dentist will tell you. McKenzi's teeth didn't come in until she was around 14 months!
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