Reflection

March 9, 2009 9:25 pm

Olivia Marie

7'8 19 inches long

So as you read in the previous post there have been some babies born lately in my family. I also have an old friend (shout out to Jamie Golden Martin) that had a baby the previous Tuesday, my old roommate Shannon the week before and Mitch's old neighbor has also had a baby in the last week. It's raining babies apparently! Anyways as Olivia is only a few days away from turning 7 months old I find myself completely baffled as to how my baby has become so old already! Now 7 months really isn't all that old but I guess with all these little newbies around it makes her seem giant in comparison. It literally feels like yesterday that I gave birth to her and now she's crawling all over the place, pulling herself up to stand from sitting, babbling like she's having a very important conversation with you, eating solid foods, just becoming more of a little person by the day...less of a baby and it makes me so sad!

Watching all the milestones has been awesome. Her first cooing, smile, first laugh, holding on to toys, rolling over, babbling, sitting up, crawling, pulling up. I think I cried to see her do all these things for the first time. Then yesterday when she was showing off her crawling skills to Mitch's family, Grandma Sue or "Sparkle" started to cry and I just felt all choked up inside...it's really happening, she's growing up. I just wish somehow we could pick what age we'd like her to be on any given day. I'd like to hold my little newborn every now and again...but I guess you can't turn back time. I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday while she held my new little nephew Liam. I heard little squeaks and sighs in the background "is that the baby"? My heart literally ached to remember when she was that small. I just wish I could have been there to hold him too.

I was thinking today as I nursed Olivia, silently praying she'd go down easily for her nap, that your expectations of your children is so different than the reality. She of course is only 7 months old so this realization is a bit premature but valid all the same. Before the baby comes you have all these ideas about how she's gonna be and how your life will be day to day with a baby. I remember thinking I was going to have this mellow calm baby and we would have mellow and calm days together. You think you have it all figured out, you think you have planned for everything and once that baby comes you realize that whoever they are is only about half influenced by you and the other half is just whoever they are.

They decide how things will go on a daily basis and at least in Olivia's case the only thing you can count on is her feisty stubborn personality. She is a good baby but she definitely has an iron will. She is stubborn and persisitant and feisty. She is awesome but can be exhausting. My mom likes to blame me for giving into all her whines and whimpers, I made her this way, I spoil her. She even used me as an example to warn my sister about letting your baby control your life....whatever. Maybe I did have a hand in her being so demanding...but I think it's just who she is. I mean with me as her mother and Mitch as her father...you had to know she'd at least be a little neurotic. She is a happy girl most of the time unless she is tired. Then she wants you either holdling her or right beside her. She needs convincing to go to sleep, she doesn't just go to sleep on her own, unless she's in the car. Otherwise she is smiling and happy and just wants to be in on the action, no matter what that may be.

Oh baby, baby...please don't grow up so fast!