That I am not babysitting. Not that I feel disconnected to my child or really get a moment of peace away from her most days, but rather...as it applies to parental advice. This of course meaning advice on how to be a parent and advice coming from parents.
Do you need an example?
Thankfully for you dear reader I have many.
#1 (a phone conversation with my mother)
MOM: so how are things, what did you do today?
ME: well not a whole lot, got up, fed Liv and then gave her a bath...
Interuption by mother
MOM: Emily you should not bathe her everyday. She doesn't get dirty, and it'll dry her hair and skin out.
meanwhile I am thinking she clearly does not understand my baby's habit of letting the breastmilk often dribble down her chin and into the folds of her baby double chin. This results in what we affectionatley call the "cheese neck". Well because it makes her neck smell like stinky cheese...which when cause goes to effect is why I bathe her everyday. That and she loves it!
ME: Yeah okay Mom, I don't bathe her everyday Lie, blatent lie...sometimes more than once a day!
MOM: Well yesterday I called you and you were bathing her.
ME: whatever Mom, who cares...she's fine!
#2 (a friendly discussion about ear piercing)
--> sidenote I had previously decided that I did not want to pierce Olivia's ears. Mitch's mom asked me WAAAAYYYY before miss baby arrived if I planned on doing it. I responded as I usually do when I don't want to answer a question....change the subject or play dumb.
MOM: Has Sue asked you about piercing the baby's ears again?
ME: Not since she was born
MOM: Well good
ME: You know I have been thinking about it lately, it might be cute
MOM: Oh Emily it's so CHOLO
This of course is said quite passionately and quite in public I might add and also what the hell does CHOLO even mean? I know it's a Mexican thing...but not much else and I can assume by the connotation for which my mother often uses it...it's probably not a good thing. She also referred to some shoes my Sister wanted to wear for her wedding with this same word "CHOLO"
ME: Mom can you please refrain from saying Cholo in public? And could you please refrain from talking so loud
MOM: Oh whatever, you better not pierce those baby's ears...Emily I am serious
ME: Yeah whatever
#3 Putting the baby to sleep
--> Let me set this one up for you. Since Olivia has been born I always rock her to sleep. I am usually the only one to put her to sleep because Mitch doesn't have the patience and I feel a little possesive over my baby and don't like to ask for help. So she is used to being held, cuddled and swayed in my arms to be gingerly set down only after falling asleep. So I am at my mom's house and Liv is beyond exhausted and super-fussy and NEEDS to go to sleep. so mom decides to swaddle her and lay her down while still fussy and awake.
ME: Mom that is not going to work, she won't just fall asleep on her own.
MOM: She'll be fine, it'll be okay for her to cry a little.
ME: Mom she does not give up that easy, she is very strong willed.
MOM: Emily you can't always hold her, she'll never learn how to sleep on her own.
ME: She is too young to be spoiled by being held, you can't spoil a newborn.
Meanwhile I have wandered over to switch on the baby moniter function of my parents ancient never used intercom system.
MOM: Emily you are not going in there, just let her cry it out...she'll fall asleep
ME: It's already been like 10 minutes
MOM: Oh don't be dramatic
So since I know my baby better than anyone else, as predicted she does not fall asleep and just cries louder and louder and finally I proclaim she could be choking on her own spit-up and I am going in there.
#4 A post baby check-up where Liv got 5 shots
--> She got 5 shots and also a check-up. The Doctor noticed that she was drooling like crazy and also chewing on her fist. The Doctor said she was starting to show signs of teething, that her first teeth should break through in about 4-5 months. She then added that I can give her baby tylenol for the pain and also for the pain she will most likely feel in her leg after the shots.
MOM: So how often are you giving her that medicine?
ME: The Doc said every 5 hours for the first 2 days after the shots (this was hours after the shots) and then as needed for the teething
MOM: You should not give it to her just cause she is fussy.
ME: Mom if her legs are sore from the shots and it helps her teeth...I am going to give it to her. if it makes her feel better.
MOM: Well I think you may just be giving it to her because it makes her sleepy and easier to deal with.
ME: (frustrated because it clearly has been A-WHILE since she had to deal with a cranky fussy baby...i just roll my eyes)
So in conclusion I AM going to bathe my baby as often as I see fit, I AM going to pierce her ears if I want to (although prob not), I AM going to respond to her little peeps as well as her heavy sobs and rock her to sleep in my loving arms and I AM going to give her baby tylenol if it helps her with any teething pain. She is my baby and I love her and "Mother knows best" and I AM her mother. If I need any advice about what to do with my bathing schedule, my ear piercings, my sleeping habits or my pain relieving devices...then I will ask MY MOTHER.
I love reading about your saga! I always get a good laugh! Olivia is getting so big and she is so adorable. How much did she weigh at her apt? Teething tablets work great and are easier to give. I discovered them with Abe and I love them.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about mother knows best. Every baby is different, even when they are all your own.
Are you coming to Utah for the 4th of July?
em, you're hilarious! Jeremy and I read this together and laughed it up. You mother is quite the character. I wouldn't be surprised if you got Liv's ears pierced just to spite her. (not that I think you should :) )
ReplyDeleteKeep the blogs coming! They're always so fun to read.
By the way, Olivia is adorable! We rocked Eden all the way to sleep until she was around 8 months old because she wanted us to always stand and rock her and by then, she was just too big. So, we had to let her cry it out. It was so hard! I love rocking my babies though. Do whatever works for both of you. You are her MOM!
Was looking for a friend's mommy blog, but my search turned up yours. Loved reading about your family and darling daugher, Olivia.
ReplyDeleteHope you don't mind me throwing in my $0.02 about infant ear piercing....
I know a lot of people have strong feelings when to pierce a child's ear. "Let them decide" is being replaced by parental decision when mommy intuition knows, "earlier is better" from either personal or friend's experiences of unpleasant childhood ear piercing. I think it just depends on your own personal choice whether or not you wish your baby or little girl to have pierced ears.
Some feel perceived gender of their child is important while others find it a cultural tradition where all infant girls have pierced ears.
Answering some of the questions, First, all little girls want their ears pierced. 95% of all women have pierced ears. Second, women love earrings and have done so since ancient times as a subtle, but appropriate fashion accessory. If pierced ears go out of style, then she can let them close up, but that is unlikely. Third, I doubt if any moms would call it disfiguring or tacky, but more a way of celebrating her femaleness and femininity. Afterall, she is a little girl,right? Lastly, doing it while she is an infant is the best time.
Our ped encouraged me to pierce our dd's ears early. WE did it at 2 mos. She said when mommy can care for them is best and they won't remember having them done and later all the other little girls in pre-school will be envious of your dd with earrings. Lastly, my advice is to do them one at a time to insure they are perfectly centered. This may take 15 seconds longer, but will make sure they are not crooked later in life and even.
I'd say if your're thinking about it now, then your mommy intuition is telling you now is a good time and I'd follow your heart. If you'd like our ped's suggestions for moms having their little girls ears pierced, write me an e-mail.
Good luck with your decision, but secretly, I think you've already made it and it is not a matter of if she'll have them done, but when.
Amy
Amyswor@hotmail.com