Olivia is growing too fast! I love that she smiles and coos and tries sooooooo hard to make those little lips talk. You talk to her and you can just see how badly she wants to talk back...and she does, in a sense, talk back...
If only I could decode baby babble...
"Munchie did you have good baby dreams...you did really? Did you dream about kitties? White ones or orange ones or grey ones? Hmmmm Maybe you dreamt about puppies? About big ones or little ones or shaggy ones? Did you dream about Daddy? Was Daddy playing with you in your dreams? Did you have so much fun? Did you dream about milky? Did you dream about milk as far as the eye can see"...
This continues on and on with varying animals, toys, people or foods she could be dreaming about. She loves this game. She squeals and laughs and babbles...she is too cute! That sweet little mouth working so hard to produce those funny baby noises. Those eyes communicating so clearly to me, saying "Mama I hear you, Mama I know you can't understand me but I understand you". She is so smart...my baby is a genius!
I love this girl! She was always meant to be mine...inconvenient timing or not. Married or not. Ready or not she happened and came to me and changed me and my life forever.
She is getting so big! I hate it! I want so badly to know what she is going to look like as a little girl, to know who she's going to be...but why does she have to get bigger! Sad face!
Tonight I went to Megan's dance recital at school. Megan is Mitch's youngest sister and the youngest of the 7 Benveniste kids. Megan is Sue and Tony's baby and their last child to graduate from high school. Next week Megan finishes high school and there will be no more Benveniste high school graduations. Graduations filled with one or all siblings screaming out "Benvenistes rule" randomly throughout the ceremony.
I came to two conclusions tonight as I sat in a packed auditorium watching 2 hours of high school dance classes perform. Both were emotional and both made me a little sad.
First was one day Olivia will graduate high school and one day I too will be in attendance to any extra curricular activities she will be involved in. I know we are a long way from even a preschool graduation but it made me sad that babies have to grow up. I sat a row behind Sue and Tony and felt like they must be having some sort of twinge of sadness that their baby is growing up. It must be hard when any child grows up but to have the baby...the last one, getting ready to pass over into so-called adulthood...into the "real world" so to speak...how sad. But as we all know...graduating high school doesn't really mean you're a grown-up but I guess the rite of passage marks an end to a certain kind of childhood and into a young adult. I had to hold my eyes so wide to keep any tears from falling but I really felt empathy for them...I don't even like the fact that Olivia is growing out of her newborn diapers!
The next conclusion I drew was that I suffer from separation anxiety. Mitch stayed home with the baby while I went to the recital. I texted him every couple of minutes to make sure they were both still alive. I have only ever left Olivia one time before to go to a 2 hour movie...that was hard but maybe because of all these emotions I was feeling over Megan and her parents I missed little Munchie so much. I actually ran up the driveway through the front door and across the house "Where is my baby...I need my Livia". She was crying...Mitch was visibly overwhelmed (he'd never admit this however) and almost as soon as I scooped her up she stopped crying.
Heaven on earth to feel a tiny body relax and melt into you the way only a child can do with it's mother.
"Are you crying" Mitch asked me....
"No....maybe.....don't laugh at me".
I made Olivia promise me then and there that she'd never grow up.
Good luck with that one. I have been trying that on the boys for years...even David said that he is going to have his birthday and be 3 in a week! YIKES. I hate it, but love it cause they are such great boys and it is fun to see them grow up and become their own little person. Olivia is adorable, can't wait to see and hold her again. You coming for the 4th?
ReplyDeleteEvery time you post new pictures, she looks SO different. You probably don't want to hear this, but I can see her growing up too! It makes me a little sad. Give her a kiss from Aunt Katie
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